Not every segment of this journey to NYC is smooth sailing. In fact, right now, the boat we’re in is heeling at about 30 degrees and I am freaked out!
“Rough waters” would be a mild description of the last week of our lives. We can’t seem to find a place to live. Yes, you read that correctly. We’re supposed to believe that God will provide the right place in the right time. Sure…but the headwinds we face show no signs of abating.
Here’s the question that haunts David & I at night and wakes us up early in the morning:
What if we can’t find a management company willing to take a risk on us?
Now I know what some of you are thinking. “I knew this was a ridiculous move. See, God wasn’t calling you to that concrete dangerous jungle with horrible schools and high crime rates. Maybe now they will come to their senses and re-settle themselves.”
Well, frankly, we aren’t thinking any of those things. Through this 10 day testing of our faith, we are more resolved than ever that God has indeed called us to leave San Diego and that He opened the doors for us to move to New York City. In my faithful moments, I’m able to affirm “God called us. He’ll provide a new home when it’s time.” In my panic moments, I say to myself, “Keep breathing.”
What I know is this, that while we are completely in the hands of God where housing is concerned, I don’t feel or see His hands. It feels more like we are out of the boat with howling winds and pouring rain. “Jesus,” I find myself screaming, “We don’t want to sink! Rescue us!” And the winds howl and the rains pour and I tell myself to breathe and I beg God to provide a home.
Today I read 1 John 2:1-2 followed by Hebrews 4:13-16. Let me write these Scriptures for you the way I read them:
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin…We have an advocate with the Father — Jesus Christ. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered…Therefore, since we have a great high priest…Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we have a high priest who is able to empathize with our weaknesses…Let us (ME) approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
AMEN! I have an advocate and here’s what I need my advocate to do:
- Find us a new home…TODAY!
- Protect my Anna from loneliness and feelings of abandonment when we leave her behind in San Diego.
- Heal my Kori’s heart as she leaves her best friends at church and school.
- Raise up my Matthew into a man of God called according to your purpose.
- Strengthen my husband in the days to come. Give him courage and confidence in You.
My guess is that you’ve got a few winds that rock your boat and send it heeling over. Hear me. I’m in the boat with you. I’m scared to death. Breathe. And with every breath, beg the Lord to calm the seas.
Jesus, advocate for me and my friends today. If you can’t calm the storm, calm the crew. Amen.